Archive for the ‘Terrible Teams’ Category
2 Xbox LIEvers to Add to the List of Owned Noobs
One of my favorite ways to own noobs is by simply calling them on their Bullshit. Today, we ran into a mountainous pile of the foulest smelling Bullshit I’ve encountered in a long time. The two liars were (skulltank169) and (WRXJOE). One was an immature little brat, and the other was a 12 year old kid with no clue what he was talking about. Here is a quick mashup of some of their comments. I’m not sure how they managed to play Halo with such a mouthful of foot.
Listen to the 2 dummies in a downward spiral of lies .mp3
Basically, they claimed to be able to “hack our account in 30 seconds” and of course, the old.. “I already got your ip” This is always the first sign that we’re dealing with an idiot who is just regurgitating words he’s heard other people use, with no real understanding of their meaning.
WRXJOE also changed his story a few minutes into the game, claiming that he never said a word about ips, but the audio tells a different tale. He also (very cleverly) asked if I believed that Microsoft could get my ip… wow, Joe.. you must really be a computer wiz to figure that one out.
You’ll hear a lot more of these 2 “xbox LIEvers” on next week’s Sound of Owning! Did I just coin a phrase? I always wanted to do that.
A Tale of 2 Fake Generals
Here’s the game. They talked a lot of BS in the pre-game lobby and our 2 teammates quit which left us in yet another ‘4 vs. 2′ game. Now, they won of course.. I mean, even 4 Colonels should be able to beat 2 people, but the game was WAY closer than it should be.
Fast Forward to the end of the game, where we challenged the two wannabe gangsters to a ‘2 vs 2′ match. This is when the excuses started, along with the fake nervous laughter. They refused the challenge and I think we all know why.
- GoDz WoRsT FeaR (no one is afraid of you, loser)
- III QATAR III
Now, it’s too late and I’m too tired to go into all the ways that these 2 douchebags proved their ignorance.. so, let’s just say that their ebonics and wannabe thug attitude sealed their fate, and destined them to appear on our humble site.
UPDATE ~ The NOOB (III QATAR III) just jumped in my pre-game lobby to tell me why he couldn’t accept the challenge last night. It was.. and I quote “because my mom cut off my connection”. Thanks for the laugh. You would think a fake general would lie and come up with something more fitting of his gangster lifestyle. Maybe something like “I couldn’t play cuz I was smackin’ my bitches around”.
The Honda Queen gets his face Sniped
SO, yesterday I mentioned a NOOB that couldn’t seem to stop running his mouth (KINGCIVIC) during a Snipers match on Valhalla. It was a bitter sweet game because IsntOffensive used it to test out his rig setup to record all the chatter that you morons flood our ears with during Matchmaking. This meant he wasn’t playing, but it all worked out because the big-red-shoe wearing clowns delivered some gold nuggets of stupidity.
We also had another horrible teammate (slimpickins123) who was basically worthless, which effectively made it a 4 vs. 2 game of Snipers. No problem though.. we came out blazing and held the lead for a while until they finally managed to surround our base and get us back on our heels a bit. Even this strategy didn’t last long, however. They were just too shitty!
All things considered, it ended up being a ridiculously close game.
Here’s a quick video of me owning the NOOB twice in about 15 seconds. If you check the stats on the game, you’ll see he did manage to kill me a few times, but the full video in my file share tells the whole story. He only managed to pull it off when I was facing one of his teammates. Whenever we were locked up ‘mano a mano’, he fell to his knees.
Honarable mention goes out to my teammate (S0NYSUX) for actually pulling his weight. It’s so rare to find someone who can keep his K/D spread north of -10. Unfortunately, he didn’t say a word the entire game. Could he have known we were recording..?? The rest of the players in the match sure as hell didn’t.
A quick Roundup of tonight’s idiots
These are in no particular order. They’re just a bunch of idiots we ran into tonight. Some were a little stupid, and some were kicked off the short-bus for being behind the curve.
-
The Salamanator (actually thought Bill Gates was the one banning people from live)
Master Chul (too poor for a microphone)
calebcbr (generic moron)
Dunlup SY
DMitch3520 (owned on Valhalla)
xBCxCRIMINALx (serious mental issues) *probably should be institutionalized!
CHI TOWN B3A5T (fake General)
KINGCIVIC (my personal pick for dumbest)
YoDaddy CHAVEZ (close runner-up) *We’ll have an audio clip of this weirdo tomorrow
UF Geoff (if only mom would have listened to dad and aborted him)
If you run into any of these idiots on live, let them know they made our list.
I’m putting together a video of KINGCIVIC and his horrible sniping skills for tomorrow’s post. The poor sap thought he had skills, but couldn’t back it up. He actually thought the 2 kill victory in a 4 on 2 game had something to do with his performance.
I guess I should go easy on the kid, since he’s rolling around his hillbilly town in a ‘94 Civic… but I just can’t resist owning the NOOB!
2 Rednecks 1 Xbox
We could only hear one side of the conversation because these broke bitches were split screen but only had one mic. I can only assume they were snuggling up on a love seat playing on a 15″ TV. BwakeyPoo was the one with the mic, but I couldn’t make out most of his comments since he probably had a mouth full of chew.
Him and his (life)partner, CBRE3ZZY were pure garbage. They decided to start betraying about half way through the game. As we’ve said before, this blog isn’t about winning or losing any given match. It’s about owning noobs in a number of different ways. These two were owned on a purely psychological level. Of course, they probably didn’t have an I.Q. of 80 between the two of them, so it wasn’t really a fair fight.
BwakeyPoo betrays DarkRaiPokemon
BwakeyPoo betrays IsntOffensive
SEALs009 (what, bro?)
DarkRaiPokemon
A new low for stupidity on xbox live. This clown had the brain power of a baby yak. His Halo skills were even further behind in their development. Somehow he managed ZERO kills in a game of rockets, while his boyfriend sitting on the couch next to him racked up negative 7. His chants of “Can I cum on your chin” only served to confirm his gayness. You have been avoided NOOB!
IsntOffensive
We can’t be sure if 0G Marcus was talking to us or his boyfriend while chanting. What we can be sure of is that 0G Marcus was either preoccupied with his boyfriend or was too dumb to figure out the highly tactical game of Rockets. 0G Marcus’ score was -7 for a brilliant K/D spread of -15. We suggest that Marcus starts focusing a little more on the game and a little less on the details of SEALs009 hot landing zones. That’s not conduct becoming of a Lieutenant Grade 2, Marcus.
0g_marcus is not effective
Another loss at the hands of incompetent team mates. Here’s a little Halo etiquette tip for those lucky enough to play on our team in the future. If by the time you get to death #5, you have less than 3 kills, please quit, turn off (and/or pawn) your Xbox 360 and go read a book or have yourself sterilized. The world will be a happier place for all.
