Archive for August, 2008
5 Dead in Zan-Zi-Bar (aka Last Resort)
Yeah, whatever.. they were NOOBS. So what, everyone is.
Africa is so lovely this time of year.
I can't stop shooting
Here’s the Full Game Stats. Top to bottom ownage.
More Homo activity tonight. It’s like an episode of Jackass!
I have a quickie for you tonight. (SoMeKiD0926) started out like any other douche, but the more he talked, the more I realized how gay he sounded. The only reason this is worth noting is that he spent the entire game calling everyone gay. I eventually spoke up and asked if he had any idea how gay he actually sounded. This made him angry, but gays don’t do much when they’re angry, so his little barking rant didn’t have much bite.
I then told him that it was a good thing I was recording all this, so that he could actually hear the way he sounds to others. Hopefully, he’ll take my advice and visit the site to hear the following mp3.. enjoy, and take note of the lisp and the way he draws out the last word in each sentence. He’s either gay, or an elderly Southern woman.
You be the judge.. does this dude sound gay? .mp3
Now, Kevin, if you read this, I hope you’ll listen to the audio with an open mind. All these clips are you, and this is what you sound like. It’s OK to come out of the closet now… and, by the way, I had Samantha’s name in the audio clip and in this post, but since you were dumb enough to say her full name, I figured I would do her the favor of not posting it. There’s no reason she should pay the price for your stupidity.
xBox LIEver with some Strong Gay feelings
Now, I’ve been accused of being an eThug a few times, myself. This website can certainly be used as evidence to that claim, but I don’t see it quite the same way. We never go out with intentions of starting shit with ‘anybody’. We’re like the A-Team.. you have to find us, we don’t go looking for the trouble. Of course, with all that said, if trouble does skip down our sidewalk (and, yeah, most of you skip.. I know it’s true) then we tend to fight back with both barrels blazing.
I actually logged on for a little Matchmaking with no expectations of coming away with a blog post. It was just going to be a few quick games with SquirrelBaits, who hasn’t been able to get online much lately.
But, sometimes you encounter stupidity on such a level, it must be addressed. Tonight I present to you another episode of wannabe gangster, xbox LIEvers. We’ve all encountered them, and we all know the type. Lots of boisterous claims with absolutely nothing to back it up.
(a93hb) was such a little douche, and was ready to beat my ass if only I would provide an address to meet him at. He insisted on a public place, so I decided on a small shopping center, and thanks to Google, I was able to deliver the exact address along with directions to my inevitable ass whoopin’!
The funniest part of the whole encounter wasn’t his bullshit, though. In fact, it was his insistence on calling us all gay, even though every comment out of his filthy mouth centered around him sticking a part of his body into a part of mine… or my dad’s, but never good ol’ mom. He was clearly into dudes exclusively.
I hope you find the man you’re looking for, a93hb .mp3
2 Xbox LIEvers to Add to the List of Owned Noobs
One of my favorite ways to own noobs is by simply calling them on their Bullshit. Today, we ran into a mountainous pile of the foulest smelling Bullshit I’ve encountered in a long time. The two liars were (skulltank169) and (WRXJOE). One was an immature little brat, and the other was a 12 year old kid with no clue what he was talking about. Here is a quick mashup of some of their comments. I’m not sure how they managed to play Halo with such a mouthful of foot.
Listen to the 2 dummies in a downward spiral of lies .mp3
Basically, they claimed to be able to “hack our account in 30 seconds” and of course, the old.. “I already got your ip” This is always the first sign that we’re dealing with an idiot who is just regurgitating words he’s heard other people use, with no real understanding of their meaning.
WRXJOE also changed his story a few minutes into the game, claiming that he never said a word about ips, but the audio tells a different tale. He also (very cleverly) asked if I believed that Microsoft could get my ip… wow, Joe.. you must really be a computer wiz to figure that one out.
You’ll hear a lot more of these 2 “xbox LIEvers” on next week’s Sound of Owning! Did I just coin a phrase? I always wanted to do that.
Oh Billy, Take Care of Laser!
The night we met (ohbilly87)…
This was our second game with Billy. He didn’t want to play the warthog map and get pwned. We exercised the crying duck veto power, and explained to him that as long as he took care of that Glowing Red Menace, we would easily win the match. I always expect to do well when we get to drive around in our 3 ton, 12.0 litre, liquid cooled M12 LRV, but I didn’t expect us to do this well..
We’ve played a few games with Billy since then. He’s not that great but he’s still not nearly as bad as the rest of you newbs out there… and I think his sister thought IsntOffensive was funny. Come to think of it, he hit it off with Billy’s dad too. Your family isn’t a very good judge of character.
Empty Skull + Empty Threats = Funny Audio
Last night was just like any other night. A few people took the approach that they were someone important who was going to get me banned from xbox live. One in particular stood out as especially comical. The threats were funny enough, but the delivery of his message was so half assed. He stumbled over every word like the drunken clown at your 12th birthday party.
He starts out OK (mp3)
He Gets Angry and the threats start! (mp3)
Now he back peddles, but the stammering continues (mp3)
I picked on the wrong gamertag (mp3)
His gamertag is famous (mp3)
If you listened to all these messages, I’m sure you are laughing as hard as I was at this point. He claimed his gamertag was famous but a google search returned a grand total of ZERO results… WELL, Lizard boy, you’re Famous now. This probably wasn’t what you had in mind though, was it.
By the way, I am still on xbox, so what is the delay? Did your boss laugh in your face just like the rest of us, or were you just full of shit as I predicted?
I almost forgot, his gamertag was (SHOT LIZARD).. be sure to send him a message telling him how funny he was.
