You Noobs Got Owned!

Recently I have been doing some experimenting with ’tilt shift’ effects thru photoshop. With the right photo you can get some amazing effects. The basic goal is to take an image and make it appear is if it were a miniature model. Aerial views of large urban sprawls seem to work the best, so that got me thinking… I wonder how a Halo 3 screenshot would look.

Here’s my first few attempts. Nothing too amazing here, I know, but you can see the potential. I think to really pull off the effect there should be a gang of spartans in the screenshot. Scroll down to read a quick tutorial on how to duplicate this effect, then round up the hooligans you call friends, and try to make your own tilt shift halo pics.

Halo 3 Titl Shift ~ Click the pic for the Full Size Image

Halo 3 Titl Shift ~ Click the pic for the Full Size Image

Halo 3 Titl Shift ~ Click the pic for the Full Size Image

Halo 3 Titl Shift ~ Click the pic for the Full Size Image

If you want to create your own, just fire up that pirated version of photoshop. You will also have to get some sweet screenshots together.. duh!

1. Open up your screenshot, switch to ‘Quick Mask Mode’
2. Select the Gradient Tool and draw a vertical line thru the area you want to highlight*

You can see in ‘tutorial image 01′ that the line is only about 30% of the total height of the screenshot I’m working with. The rest of the image will become blurred out.

Tutorial Image 01 - Choosing Quick Mask mode

3. Now switch out of ‘Quick Mask’ mode by toggling it off
4. You should now see the ‘marching ants’ just like tutorial image 2

Tutorial Image 02 - The Marching Ants of the Quick Mask

5. Apply a Lens Blur (Filter-> Blur -> Lens Blur)
6. Invert your Quick Mask (Select -> Inverse)
7. Sharpen the Highlighted area (Filter -> Sharpen -> Sharpen)
8. Deselect the Mask (Control + H)
9. Adjust Saturation (Image -> Adjust -> Hue/Saturation) (just crank it up to about 30)
10. Adjust Contrast (Image -> Adjust -> Brightness/Contrast)

Steps 7, 9 and 10 are where you will make some tweaks to the tutorial. Play with the settings a bit and see what you can create. A lot of this will depend on the image you select, and whether it has a lot of bright sun, or if it’s darker.

Experiment with putting a lot of things in the frame, close ups, explosions or whatever. Find a place to upload (you guys must know how to do that by now, right?) and post links in the comments section. If I see any good ones, I’ll post them on the main page.

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Yeah, whatever.. they were NOOBS. So what, everyone is.

Africa is so lovely this time of year.

I can't stop shooting

Here’s the Full Game Stats. Top to bottom ownage.

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I have a quickie for you tonight. (SoMeKiD0926) started out like any other douche, but the more he talked, the more I realized how gay he sounded. The only reason this is worth noting is that he spent the entire game calling everyone gay. I eventually spoke up and asked if he had any idea how gay he actually sounded. This made him angry, but gays don’t do much when they’re angry, so his little barking rant didn’t have much bite.

I then told him that it was a good thing I was recording all this, so that he could actually hear the way he sounds to others. Hopefully, he’ll take my advice and visit the site to hear the following mp3.. enjoy, and take note of the lisp and the way he draws out the last word in each sentence. He’s either gay, or an elderly Southern woman.

You be the judge.. does this dude sound gay? .mp3

Now, Kevin, if you read this, I hope you’ll listen to the audio with an open mind. All these clips are you, and this is what you sound like. It’s OK to come out of the closet now… and, by the way, I had Samantha’s name in the audio clip and in this post, but since you were dumb enough to say her full name, I figured I would do her the favor of not posting it. There’s no reason she should pay the price for your stupidity.

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Now, I’ve been accused of being an eThug a few times, myself. This website can certainly be used as evidence to that claim, but I don’t see it quite the same way. We never go out with intentions of starting shit with ‘anybody’. We’re like the A-Team.. you have to find us, we don’t go looking for the trouble. Of course, with all that said, if trouble does skip down our sidewalk (and, yeah, most of you skip.. I know it’s true) then we tend to fight back with both barrels blazing.

I actually logged on for a little Matchmaking with no expectations of coming away with a blog post. It was just going to be a few quick games with SquirrelBaits, who hasn’t been able to get online much lately.

But, sometimes you encounter stupidity on such a level, it must be addressed. Tonight I present to you another episode of wannabe gangster, xbox LIEvers. We’ve all encountered them, and we all know the type. Lots of boisterous claims with absolutely nothing to back it up.

(a93hb) was such a little douche, and was ready to beat my ass if only I would provide an address to meet him at. He insisted on a public place, so I decided on a small shopping center, and thanks to Google, I was able to deliver the exact address along with directions to my inevitable ass whoopin’!

The funniest part of the whole encounter wasn’t his bullshit, though. In fact, it was his insistence on calling us all gay, even though every comment out of his filthy mouth centered around him sticking a part of his body into a part of mine… or my dad’s, but never good ol’ mom. He was clearly into dudes exclusively.

I hope you find the man you’re looking for, a93hb .mp3

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One of my favorite ways to own noobs is by simply calling them on their Bullshit. Today, we ran into a mountainous pile of the foulest smelling Bullshit I’ve encountered in a long time. The two liars were (skulltank169) and (WRXJOE). One was an immature little brat, and the other was a 12 year old kid with no clue what he was talking about. Here is a quick mashup of some of their comments. I’m not sure how they managed to play Halo with such a mouthful of foot.

Listen to the 2 dummies in a downward spiral of lies .mp3

Basically, they claimed to be able to “hack our account in 30 seconds” and of course, the old.. “I already got your ip” This is always the first sign that we’re dealing with an idiot who is just regurgitating words he’s heard other people use, with no real understanding of their meaning.

WRXJOE also changed his story a few minutes into the game, claiming that he never said a word about ips, but the audio tells a different tale. He also (very cleverly) asked if I believed that Microsoft could get my ip… wow, Joe.. you must really be a computer wiz to figure that one out.

You’ll hear a lot more of these 2 “xbox LIEvers” on next week’s Sound of Owning! Did I just coin a phrase? I always wanted to do that.

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The night we met (ohbilly87)…

This was our second game with Billy. He didn’t want to play the warthog map and get pwned. We exercised the crying duck veto power, and explained to him that as long as he took care of that Glowing Red Menace, we would easily win the match. I always expect to do well when we get to drive around in our 3 ton, 12.0 litre, liquid cooled M12 LRV, but I didn’t expect us to do this well..

We’ve played a few games with Billy since then. He’s not that great but he’s still not nearly as bad as the rest of you newbs out there… and I think his sister thought IsntOffensive was funny. Come to think of it, he hit it off with Billy’s dad too. Your family isn’t a very good judge of character.

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